Octonauts: Fish Biscuits

We all enjoy a bit of Octonauts. I love it as I (and the kids) get to learn about bizarre new marine life - Dwarf lantern sharks! Spookfish! Blobfish! - and it's all factually accurate (as far as I can tell, not being a marine biologist). My daughter loves it because of the adventures, and my son loves it because of the pretty colours and bold animation (I assume that's it, as for a while, when he was a newborn wracked with wind, Octonauts would be the only thing that could temporarily distract him).

The gist of the programme is Peso the penguin, Kwazi the cat-pirate and Captain Barnacles the polar bear have exciting adventures following their mission of "Explore! Rescue! Protect!" There's a supporting cast of Shellington the scientist (and otter), Professor Inkling the squid, Tweak the rabbit (the engineer and one of the two girl characters), and Dashi the dog (the other girl who just seems to take photos. I'm not sure what her role is, if she's a scientist, journalist or what, really.)

Their adventures are amusing, exciting, and all realised in a very cute style of animation I want to call "anime" but will probably be corrected... The merchandising doesn't seem to have caught up with this programme yet, there don't seem to be any associated products available in the UK yet, other than some storybooks. Which may be no bad thing.

I can't even find a proper recipe for 'fish biscuits', which are the staple food of the Octonauts, cooked by Tunip, a Vegemal (a cross between a vegetable and an animal, we assume, and of indeterminate gender). I'm not interested in the Lost 'fish-biscuits' which are fish-shaped but citrussy, I don't think those would satisfy a polar bear, let alone a cat-pirate.

So, I have created my own.

Fish biscuit recipe

5oz flour (I used self-raising but plain may work better)
2oz butter or margarine
1 egg
1/2 can tuna flakes in brine
Tabasco sauce
A little milk

Rub in butter and flour.
Beat egg and stir into mixture.
Drain tuna flakes well, press out as much moisture as possible, then stir tuna flakes into mixture.
Add extra flour if mixture is too sticky, until it becomes a dough-like texture.
Add a few splashes of Tabasco sauce and mix well.
Roll out onto a floured board.
Cut into fish shapes (or, for perfectionists, make a fish template out of greaseproof paper and use that to cut around).
Place on greased baking tray and brush with a little milk.
Cook Gas Mark 6-7, or around 220C (in our fan assisted electric oven) for about 8-10 minutes or until golden.


"Oh my god, you've actually made fish biscuits," uttered my husband, in tones bordering on horror. "Did you have to?" And then he ate one, admittedly under duress. The verdict? It was "Surprisingly okay, actually."

My daughter ate the whole of one before deciding she didn't want a second, and Baby Boy chomped through two (half of each ended up on the floor, but that's par for the course). So draw your own conclusions on taste. I personally think they'd have benefited from more bravery with the Tabasco sauce, but they were pleasant enough. (If you've ever had cobbler, then they reminded me of the pastry you get on top of that.)

Another thing I like about Octonauts is that when my daughter plays pretend-Octonauts, she has to be Kwazi but I have to be Captain Barnacles, which I am pleased to think recognises my place in the pecking order of the house. Daddy is Dashi, apparently. 'Nuff said.